Hanging out with a stranger that he was giving a sports lesson to arguing about technique. We want to soothe the hurt we have caused.Finally we understand what our husbands have been saying to us all these years. Snow or heat. If you let life threatening things happen to someone you are supposed to love, isn't that a character problem, rather than a behavior problem?
And my heart was in my throat every time. Another kick in the gut. He has had a steady girlfriend for several years, and I'm glad to say that he has learned to control his anger over the past 10 years, as I have mine.
If you get stuck, give yourself some grace. It may sound like strange advice, since he's only 10, but he'll appreciate that you respect him enough to do so (and be secretly proud that you take this stance unlike the parents of many of his friends, who don't). Post was not sent - check your email addresses! If you’ve developed negative automatic reactions to your husband’s approach for sex, taking charge of the timing can help you avoid the situation that triggers those reactions while you are still in the process of learning new habits and thoughts about sex.When you initiate, do more than offer sex. I am your wife. My husband went through a short season of being angry at me. My husband and I were seeing His ADD couch separately but it was coordinated.
But there are some times in your life when there are things that aren't so fun but are just plain necessary to "get through".
She has engaged in classic character assassination (attacking me personally, questioning my integrity, intelligence level, telling me she doesn't respect me, etc.).
We’ve openly discussed divorce but we both react with extreme emotion to even the suggestion.
As you note, you don't know if his behavior is because he's 10, a boy, or has ADD. The following year he attended a school that was three times as far from home -- he only needed to have to go back to school on his bike twice that year before he learned to stop leaving the homework at school! I *never* got in the car and drove him -- I required *him* to fix his problem. So try to make your son your "partner" in developing strategies.
If you let life threatening things happen to someone you are supposed to love, isn't that a character problem, rather than a behavior problem? My husband suffered that with his first wife. I didn't really understand his ADD at that time (since it wasn't diagnosed, I hadn't learned much about it then). When my son was 10, he did well on tests or in-class assignments (except for journal writing -- he could never get started), but routinely forgot to bring some of his homework assignments home and had a lot of trouble getting projects done.
If she takes off after you about something (let's say it's how you don't carry your weight around the house as an example) then you will help yourself the most if you say "I understand that you think I don't do enough around the house" (you heard her).
Trust is the main thing that needs to be restored.As I was reading your post I was reminded of so many things I did in my nonADD marriage. If the ADD person forges their spouse's name to get a credit card, aren't they a forger, even if it's because they have ADD? He will ignore simple instructions (from me, his teacher, his coach) because it's not the way he wants to do them or he thinks he knows the best way. And honestly, I cannot handle him without the meds and therapy.
Except when it comes to soccer!
by Robin Thicke. Yes, it *is* hard to know what is a real ADD problem and what's typical 10-year-old trickery, but I can tell you from my own experience that it's much harder to live with the consequences and regrets of too harsh treatment.
He gave up on college some years ago, and has just decided to tackle it again this year. Thank you for giving me a light in the tunnel! Yes, it *is* hard to know what is a real ADD problem and what's typical 10-year-old trickery, but I can tell you from my own experience that it's much harder to live with the consequences and regrets of too harsh treatment. Tell him that you want him.Even if he isn’t ready to respond to your initiation because he has squelched his innate sexual desire for you, try to communicate to your husband that you are serious about making a difference. This way he is invested in the outcome (vs. just doing your bidding, which won't motivate him at all) and understands that you'll keep coming back at him until a good coping strategy is in place.
I am starting to wonder if there is a vicious cycle going on, where the more emotional stress I feel, the more my ADHD symptoms impact my behavior.I am finding it incredibly demoralizing to be treated in such a combative way. But I regret tremendously my impatience and anger with my son. "Is this action or speech good for me?" Give him a kiss for no reason at all–even if it’s just a kiss on the top of his head while he’s watching TV. I never want my future daughter-in-law to deal with the things you do. It helps a spouse without ADD have greater compassion for the person who has it, and it offers the ADD spouse a way to understand that with work, things can be better, while providing an idea of what to work on (target symptoms).Without work on symptoms, nothing changes. :You are morally bankrupt, and rotten at the core.
Even if he weren't successful at it, at least then you would know that he cared about it. Sex education in schools: Too little, too late, and too biological. I can't tell you that it's not too late because I'm not on the inside of your relationship, and it sounds pretty dire.
Your post gave me a lot of reasons to think.
I know I have a lot more to learn and am working hard to compensate for my weaknesses.
And then, your spouse says, “Too little, too late.” The bubble is burst, the sail’s deflated.
(Or, as I used to say to my kids, "I don't care so much about the outcome as I care that you genuinely try".
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